Will the gentleman be choosing and tasting the wine? How some clichés are deeply ingrained

quality? What equality? From considerate gallantry to cocksure boorishness there can be a very fine line on a first date, as evidenced by a survey conducted by IFOP for restaurant management software ZenChef. A representative sample of 1,525 French adults were surveyed in May 2023 via an online questionnaire. It showed that 54% of those surveyed believe that the man should open the restaurant door for his dining companion.

When faced with the traditional question of the waiter “who will be tasting the wine?” 36% of respondents said they felt it was normal that the answer should be “the gentleman”. This percentage rose to 40% for men (from 29% for 18-24 year-olds to 66% for those in the 75+ age bracket), and dropped to 27% for women (from 15% for 18-24 year-olds to 49% for the over 75s). The belief increases with age, and also income. Although religion does not have any noticeable effect, the gender-driven prerogative diverges according to the political orientation of the respondents, both for women (from 17% for women with extreme right-wing views to 54% for conservatives) and men (from 24% for men voting for the green party to 53% for conservatives). Ultimately 46% of men say they taste the wine, compared with 9% of women. Only 27% of those surveyed say they share the role. When ordering wine, the percentages are fairly similar.

As for the strategic issue of who pays the bill on a first date, 65% of those surveyed said they thought it was only natural that the man should offer to pay, rising to 72% of men (60% for the 18-24s and 90% for 65s and above) and dropping to 59% of women (40% for the 18-24s and 76% for 75s and above). Also, 33% of respondents felt it was “normal for menus handed to women in some chic restaurants not to mention the prices of the dishes or the wines”. But 50% said they “avoided choosing a dish or a wine that was too expensive because the dining companion would be paying the bill” (46% for men, 54% for women).

Interestingly, 39% of those surveyed said they had “avoided drinking alcohol on occasions, to remain in control of the evening” (42% for men and 35% for women), but “17% of men admitted that they had encouraged the woman who they were sharing the meal with to drink more than she should in order to make her more uninhibited” (versus 10% of women).